It’s Friday, and that means answer time! For those of you who have commented with questions from previous ManFAQs, thank you. I’m adding yours to the list of questions women have asked about men over the years, and I will answer them all in turn – to continue to demystify the more malodorous gender for those of the gentler. Actual questions, posed by real women, and answered by a REAL man. What could go wrong?
Question: What’s up with the long-shorts? Horrible laundry accident? Can’t commit to pants? Hurricane preparedness? What?
Answer: Right off the bat, I’m just gonna say it: Don’t mock the manpris, man. Just like Metro’s the new Hetero, the short longs that are neither are just the thing for the sensitive macho man who needs to shield the knees but still wants to feel the breeze on those rock-solid ankles and chiseled calves. They’re long for shorts and short on style, but these versatile vestments are every man’s vowels as he spells the word S-U-M-M-E-R.
Yeah, sorry – did I mention I have a problem with ad copy? Look, we both know most guys have no sense of fashion whatsoever. If I’m wearing mid-calf pants, you can assume that (1) I don’t realize it; (2) I tried to do the laundry without supervision, or (3) I’m in the backyard building my ark. Since my ‘chiseled calves’ look more like frightened steers, you’re within your rights to call me on it if I’m in public.
Now you know. Please, feel free to comment! Also, forward any questions you’d like answered to BUMD – at – biguglymandoll.com!