4.1. Thus have I heard, Theophilus, and stop me if I've told you this in that other book.
4.2 And it came to pass in those days that the Lord God sent a message to all the children of the earth, ye, even unto the house where dwelleth the Daughter Who Repeateth All That Thou Sayest, and dwelleth the Very Noisy Seven-Year-Old, and even where dwelleth the Reigning Queen of Pink, High Duchess of Fluff, and Protector of Barbies. To all the children of the earth, even to these, was the message sent.
4.3 And the Message of the Lord was that while, lo, it was true that the great and everlovin' God Above does indeed love all the little chillen of the world, He loves the quiet ones MORE. And they getteth better Christmas presents, since God and Santa are, like, totally BFF.
4.4 So all the children of the world, ye, even those who dwelleth in the house of the BUMD, quit their bellyaching and stayed in their damn beds.
4.5 And it was good. And quiet.