March 4th, 2010


Dear Third Grade Teacher of Number One Son,

Originally published at Big Ugly Man Doll. Please leave any comments there.

It was very nice to see you at the “dancing with the SOL tests” event this evening. I’m sure my son and the rest of your class will do great on the exams, even if you’re not there to see them.

Good luck with the baby – looks like you’re due any day! While we were driving home from the event, I asked my son if he understood that you were going to be leaving the classroom soon.

“Oh, sure Daddy,” he said. “She’s pregnant – she’s going to have a baby. I’m pretty sure she’s having routine sonograms every day.”

“Oh, really? Why would she have one every day?”

“Well, you know, just to check on the fetal heart rate and stuff.”

So, I’d like to apologize in advance if he starts quizzing you in class about what kind of birth you’re planning. He has an unhealthy fixation with the Discovery Health channel and retains far more of it than might be good for a nine year old. That said, if you do have any questions, feel free to consider him a short, unlicensed obstetrician.

And good luck.