April 21st, 2010


Rosco P. Coltrane’s Last Case Taken Over by Jack Bauer

Originally published at Big Ugly Man Doll. Please leave any comments there.

Now pretty much every American male between 15 and 25 years during the early 80s can tell you that Dukes of Hazzard was the best show on television at the time. There were many theories put forth about the show’s popularity, from the classic story themes to the archetypes in characters. And also Daisy Duke.

Catherine Bach, as Daisy Duke, was the perfect foil to Tom Wopat and John Schneider’s Bo and Luke, and the three of them were why boys, and girls, respectively (or not respectively, depending on one’s predilections and dispositions), watched the show in droves. An episode without Daisy was a day without sunshine, or at least a day without great legs and et cetera.

And I’d still kinda like to drive a 1969 Dodge Charger.

But I was nearly grounded for watching the show. You see, the Human Tape Recorder comes by her sobriquet naturally, and regrettably paternally.

And it came to pass one day that a bargain was struck – I was allowed to watch “that dreadful show” (as it was called in my house, denigrating the fine name of the General Lee and casting aspersions on my Daisy) on the condition that I not come upstairs and repeat the episode verbatim. In fact, I was to refrain from discussion of the show unless directly pertinent to the topic at hand.

Did I really watch an hour of television and then “synopsize” it to my parents for an hour, line for line? Yes I did. Can two out of three of my own children cast of characters do that now? Yes, yes they can. Have I struck the same bargain with them? Oh, hell yes.

(The difference is that I’m sparing myself from the likes of Hannah Montana and iCarly. My parents were missing out on quality programming.)

Last night, my mother called me. She called to ask that I explain to my father that he is not allowed to watch “24” any more, unless he agrees not to come upstairs and tell my mother everything Jack Bauer said along with a blow-by-blow recitation of each person killed and why Jack felt badly about it.

Now, 24 is a step above iCarly – the singing’s better – but I have to side with her on this one. (Besides, Jack probably would sleep with Daisy Duke, then have her killed for conspiring with Boss Hogg, then feel badly about it.)

To Dad’s credit, he assumed that my mother was calling HIS mother, the Queen Mother of Pink. When he realized she was calling me, he tickled her until she hung up laughing. My parents may be as crazy as my kids!