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August 16th, 2010

Just One Cup in the Morning

Originally published at Big Ugly Man Doll. Please leave any comments there.

Those of you who’ve known me in the flesh, so to speak, may be surprised to hear that I’ve cut back on the amount of caffeine I consume each day.  Some of you who remember me from my 26-cups-a-day youth might wonder if “cutting back” means “20 cups a day.” 

Believe it or not – and my devotion to absolute veracity and objectivity is well established – I’m down to one cup in the morning.  Some days I skip even that.  I realize some of you may need to lay down now; I hope I haven’t shocked anyone too badly.  The truth is, I no longer need to climb across the ceiling with my teeth every single day, and with much less caffeine, I’m not as hungry all the time – it’s helping with the diet too.

This being, of all the odd things to commemorate, the 200th post here at the Big Ugly Man Doll, I figure it’s incumbent on me to liven the topic up with a short song.  And yes, you may be assured that I sound exactly like Roger Whittaker when I sing it.  (After all, my devotion to absolute veracity and objectivity is well established.) 

 

Everybody talks about just one cup in the morning.  /  Just one cup in the morning does you good.

I, myself don’t talk about just one cup in the morning.  /  One cup in the morning’s understood.

And I can smell a pot of coffee brewing up.  /  And I smile as go to get my cup. 

No-one better call before my one cup in the morning.  /  If I haven’t had my coffee, just shut up.

I met a man who hadn’t slept since he was twenty.  /  I met that man when he was twenty-one. 

He said he needed more than only one cup in the morning, / don’t he know that Starbucks is open?

And he would put a pot of coffee up to brew.  /  And when he smiled his hands would shake and he looked all screwy.  

Everybody talks about just one cup in the morning.  /  One cup in the morning’s understood.

And I can smell a pot of coffee brewing up.  /  And I smile as go to get my cup. 

No-one better call before my one cup in the morning.  /  If I haven’t had my coffee, just shut up.

 

Yep.  I sound just like Roger Whittaker. 



Yep, looks like another post from the Big, Ugly Man Doll!