?

Log in

No account? Create an account

August 27th, 2010

ManFAQ Friday: Leggo My Ego

Originally published at Big Ugly Man Doll. Please leave any comments there.

It’s Friday, and that means answer time! For those of you who have commented with questions from previous ManFAQs, thank you. I’m adding yours to the list of questions women have asked about men over the years, and I will answer them all in turn – to continue to demystify the more malodorous gender for those of the gentler.  Actual questions, posed by real women, and answered by a REAL man. What could go wrong?



Question:
  Does it do your ego good when women ask you to do things like opening the jar of pickles or killing the bug, which we are perfectly capable of doing ourselves, or would you rather us be self-sufficient?</p>

Answer:    Depends on proximity.  If we’re there already, we love showing off how macho we are to the gentler sex.  If you want me to open the pickles or squash the bug while I’m watching the game or catching a nap, please work on the self-sufficiency thing.  Or at least bring it with you for me to open or kill or whatever.  And why don’t you grab me a beer as long as you’re coming over here anyway?  Thanks, hon!

 


Now you know. Please, feel free to comment with any questions you’d like answered!</p>


Yep, looks like another post from the Big, Ugly Man Doll!

Originally published at Big Ugly Man Doll. Please leave any comments there.

Billy Joel was right.  We’re all strangers.  We all have shameful, dark secrets.  You know yours.  I know yours too, but I don’t kiss and tell – even if you do get all wet and hot and bothered when your sweetie buys a Kindle.  But just so we’re on even ground, I’m going to share one of my deepest ones with you.  Just because I’m in the mood to share. 

May Bob Dobbs sing an ‘Ave’ for my soul, but I love writing purple ad copy. 

And so, if copy is your thing, you find yourself selling your crap on eBay and Craigslist.  I don’t know if you’ve tried this, but on eBay, you need to be somewhat circumspect.  Reputable.  Legal, even.  And that’s fine.  It’s OK.  Nice.  Even lucrative, sometimes.  I once wrote such a glowing recommendation on eBay for a 0.25 cent US quarter, it sold for $25.  It was that good.  But it wasn’t purple.

Craigslist, though – they built Craigslist for me.  It’s one of life’s little pleasures.  You really don’t have to tell anyone anything on Craigslist.  You can staple a copy of your poetic license to their terms of use policy – “caveat emptor, biatch.”

The other day, I sold a file cabinet that SOBUMD wasn’t using any more.  I suppose it only needed to say “file cabinet for sale.” 

——————————————-

Can you put a price on being organized?  Yes, yes you can.  It’s $30.

This solid, 2-drawer file cabinet will make you a better person.  You *can* take charge of your life again!  You can use it to store and organize your tax data, your soon-to-be-published manuscripts, those shitty poems you wrote in high school.  You can store all of these and more – and even better, you can FIND them again later, when you need to!  This file cabinet will make you happier, better looking, and more self-confidant than you’ve felt in years.

All for only $30.  Plus, you can sit on it in a pinch.  Yes, even you.  It’s that sturdy.  It will brighten up any home office with its understated industrial gray/beige exterior and stainless handles and trim.  It will make both you and your home a happier, brighter place as you unclutter and unwind.  To get you started, we’ll throw in 3 standard hanging folders – so there’s no waiting!  You pick up this file cabinet, give me $30 that you were only going to blow on booze anyway, take it home and start filing!  Start getting your life back.

Start today.

——————————————-

What can I tell you, it sold in hours.  I love this country!



Yep, looks like another post from the Big, Ugly Man Doll!