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January 21st, 2011

ManFAQ Friday: Would you hit him?

Originally published at Big Ugly Man Doll. Please leave any comments there.

It’s Friday, and that means answer time! For those of you who have commented with questions from previous ManFAQs, thank you. I’m adding yours to the list of questions women have asked about men over the years, and I will answer them all in turn – to continue to demystify the more malodorous gender for those of the gentler. Actual questions, posed by real women, and answered by a REAL man. What could go wrong?


Question:   Why can’t guys admit that other guys are attractive?</p>

Answer:   Oh, we can.  We just won’t admit it to you.  The logic, if you’d like to call it that, goes as follows: 

  • You’re actually talking to him.  Therefore, he assumes he has a better-than-average chance of sleeping with you.
  • If the topic of Other Guy comes up, the very last thing he’s going to do is suggest that Other Guy might also be a good candidate for Hey Hey, with you, with him, with your Dachshund, with anyone.  He’d rather you thought of him as “the only guy in the world.”
  • Also, by conceding our attraction toward Other Guy, we worry that you might perceive us as less qualified candidates for said Hey Hey; it might lower your impression of our masculinity. 

The fact that very little of this analysis is rooted in anything close to what you experience as reality doesn’t really enter his conscious mind.  We all know that George Clooney is hot, and we all know that your chances of getting into bed with him are about equal to mine; i.e., approaching zero.  But if your guy really can’t admit that Other Guy is a good looking person, and could be his Valentine if he went that way – then yeah, he’s probably pretty repressed. 

Because really, under all that angst, testosterone, and bravado, we’re all about three drinks from bi. 


Now you know.  Please, feel free to comment with any questions you’d like answered!



Yep, looks like another post from the Big, Ugly Man Doll!

You know you’re living the dream when…

Originally published at Big Ugly Man Doll. Please leave any comments there.

You call in your drink order from the road, and your 12-year-old has it ready 60 seconds before you walk in.  Mmmm, Scotch.



Yep, looks like another post from the Big, Ugly Man Doll!