I try not to complain as a rule, particularly in the office, because in the first place no one wants to hear it, and in the second, well, I really don’t have much to complain about. Except today, when I was asked how my weekend was, and I had to confess that while it was very very good in the general, there were some specifics that I could have lived without.
For example, finding out that that noise the car’s making will require some work, and oh by the way it’s unlikely to pass inspection without it, and oh by the way the quote for fixing it exeeds the current value of the car.
For example, finding out that the Human Tape Recorder came back from a 3-day camp extolling the virtues of her new soul-mate, who’s name is Tom. Good news bad news! Good news, Tom’s a horse, and not some 16-yr-old boy with a mullet and a motorbike. Bad news, murmurs of repeats of the weekend, more riding, and the word ‘lessons’ might have crept in there.
And then it hit me, as I complained to my buddy in the office: Car needs to be replaced, Kid wants more time with Tom the stallion… Pimp my saddle, I need to see a man about a horse! I don’t need to see his teeth, just kick the spurs and let’s trot to the office.
Mind you, the first time he calls me Wilbur, I’m gonna shoot him.