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April 22nd, 2011

ManFAQ Friday: Real Men Wear Gowns

Originally published at Big Ugly Man Doll. Please leave any comments there.

It’s Friday, and that means answer time! For those of you who have commented with questions from previous ManFAQs, thank you. I’m adding yours to the list of questions women have asked about men over the years, and I will answer them all in turn – to continue to demystify the more malodorous gender for those of the gentler.  Actual questions, posed by real women, and answered by a REAL man. What could go wrong?

Question:   What is it with men and going to the doctor?  Why is this hard?

Answer:   The first thing you have to understand is that we have NO intention of outliving you.   Do you realize that your life expectancy is something like 8-10 years more than ours?   There’s a reason for that.  We are considerably more dependant on you than you think we are, and we’re not prepared to do this whole “make your own food and find your own way around” thing without you.  To say nothing of shopping. 

So yeah, we’re not really interested in finding out what that thing is, or if it’s going to kill us.  We mostly don’t care, as long as we go first.  Plus, if we go to the doctor, they’re going to tell us that we need to eat less red meat, get more exercise, drink less, and generally have less fun.  We know that.  Who wants to live like that?  Diet is just die spelled with a t, you know?  No thanks. 

And then there’s the whole naked thing.   You know what happens when we take our clothes off – we’re mostly not interested in doing that without at least a hope of a happy ending, and Dr. “Hi My Name Is Bob” isn’t usually the fantasy we’re having.  (Not that there’s anything wrong with that.)  It’s just that Dr. Bob, or Bobbette, isn’t usually having that same fantasy about us.  

So no, we’re mostly not inclined to go to the Dr unless we’re bleeding or otherwise blatently in need of urgent medical attention.  Or there’s a problem with the, you know, plumbing.  That we’re getting fixed, straight off, you betcha.  It’s all about the Hey Hey. 

Now you know.  Please, feel free to comment!  Also, forward any questions you’d like answered to BUMD – at – biguglymandoll.com!

Yep, looks like another post from the Big, Ugly Man Doll!