The Human Tape Recorder was wired up with braces today, inaugurating a process that I’m sure will result in wonderfully straight teeth, happy smiles, and a bill higher than the defense budget of several developing countries. I was very much excited at the start of the process, but then the tech explained that they were not, after all, going to use the wires to keep her jaw shut. I’d've paid extra for that, and said so, but she muttered something about ethics and ignored me from then on.
The child in question, on the other hand, seemed quite happy to be getting wired up – braces are the new middle school status symbol, I guess. Seems odd. Then again, when I was her age, BubbleYum BubbleGum was the status symbol of choice – I can still taste that deep grape purple flavor in the back of my mind’s tastebuds. Ooh, I think I just got a new cavity thinking about it.