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May 12th, 2011

Originally published at Big Ugly Man Doll. Please leave any comments there.

We’re into single digits – there are now only 9 full days left ’til the end of the world.  In case you still doubt, yesterday was to mark the destruction of Rome.  Hundreds of people fled the city; luckily for them, Rome wasn’t destroyed in a day. 

Anyway, I’m highlighting a different thing each day that I’m NOT GONNA MISS come the Rapture.  Please continue to comment with your own NGM thoughts as well – I’m keeping the list, and I’ll tally them up and see what we’re all least likely to miss at the end of all things.

Number 10:  Donald Trump’s Hair.
Number 9:  People who can’t drive in bad weather.

Every winter in the Northern hemisphere, people take time out from meebling about their pathetic little lives to “count their blessings.”  They give thanks for things they take for granted, like cars, and for things that really matter to them and make a positive difference in their lives, like the latest episode of Glee.  Then they get in their cars, humming unrecognizable versions of songs you were too stoned to remember the first time they were hits, and stop halfway up the icy hill.

It doesn’t matter where you are, what state, how much snow you do or don’t get – there’s always some idiot who chickens out halfway up the damn hill and can’t get started again, despite having paid extra for the Sport-n-Weather Package down at the Gas-n-Go, with those cute Pirelli tires starting to spin as they slide to the right and then sideways back down the hill, looking more surprised than embarrassed.  They’re usually right in front of me.  What is so hard about this?  Don’t stop on the hill.  Don’t. Stop. On. The. Hill.   SOBUMD and I will open the curtains and a bottle of wine on a snowy day, counting morons as they stop on the hill and go sliding.   Bonus points for busses.

So God, because I’m Not Gonna Miss people who can’t drive in bad weather – call the Rapture on May 21.

Yep, looks like another post from the Big, Ugly Man Doll!