May 13th, 2011


Countdown to the Rapture, NGM Edition – Day 8

Originally published at Big Ugly Man Doll. Please leave any comments there.

There are only 8 days left until the end of the world.  That’s 192 hours.  Only 11,520 minutes to the Rapture. 

That’s 11,520 minutes that we still have to live with a whole lotta stuff that we’re Not Gonna Miss when the world ends on Saturday, May 21, such as:

10.  Donald Trump’s Hair
9.  People who can’t drive in bad weather.
8.  Facebook status message memes.

Please re-post this as your status if you or someone you know has been affected by the End of Days. The Rapture has affected millions – and polls show 3 of 4 people make up nearly 75% of the population! I know only 3% will repost this and a damn sight fewer will be caught up in any Rapture. Please, support Rapture awareness by leaving this as your status for an hour, and include this handy link:

Come on, God.  Call the Rapture on May 21st, because I am so Not Gonna Miss those crazy Facebook status update memes.  Or at least post the above on Your divine Page – I could really use the ad revenue.  You know, in case the world doesn’t end.


ManFAQ Friday: Huh? Oh, yeah, he’s clueless.

Originally published at Big Ugly Man Doll. Please leave any comments there.

It’s Friday, and that means answer time! For those of you who have commented with questions from previous ManFAQs, thank you. I’m adding yours to the list of questions women have asked about men over the years, and I will answer them all in turn – to continue to demystify the more malodorous gender for those of the gentler.  Actual questions, posed by real women, and answered by a REAL man. What could go wrong?

Question:   Why are some guys so clueless?  Can he not see that she likes him?  Why doesn’t he notice her?  

Answer:   Yes, we’re clueless.  Most of us will admit it readily if asked.  We don’t get subtle hints.  We don’t even, usually, get very broad hints.  If she likes him, her best bet is to walk up to him, grab him by whatever article of clothing or appendage she’s comfortable grabbing, and telling him something like, “Oy, you!  I like you.  Let’s get to know each other better,” and take things from there.  You’d save yourselves weeks of wondering and thinking and all that.  If he’s made eye contact with you more than twice, he probably has noticed you and he just doesn’t want you to catch him staring, or he thinks you must already be in a relationship since you’re cute, or he’s worried that you’ll kill him for talking to you, or more likely that the 17 other ladies you walk around with will turn on him like the maenads, transformed by his nerve in suddenly speaking to you that they switch to ‘raving’ mode, lose their self-control, start shouting excitedly, and then ritualistically hunt him down and tear him to pieces, devouring his raw flesh — and not in a good way. 

Yes, we think like that.  Big groups of women still make us nervous.  Most mythology has its roots in history. 

Anyway, so it’s that, or he’s just a big dumb lug.  Don’t be subtle, he won’t get it.  Hit him with a bat and get his attention. 

Now you know.  Please, feel free to comment!  Also, forward any questions you’d like answered to BUMD – at –!