It’s Friday, and that means answer time! For those of you who have commented with questions from previous ManFAQs, thank you. I’m adding yours to the list of questions women have asked about men over the years, and I will answer them all in turn – to continue to demystify the more malodorous gender for those of the gentler. Actual questions, posed by real women, and answered by a REAL man. What could go wrong?
Question: What’s with the skidmarks?
Answer: OK, look. It itches. Things that itch, we scratch. We don’t care where, or how, or who’s watching. Have you ever seen a professional baseball game? Thirty-five thousand in the stands and a million people watching on television, and the shortstop is scratching his nuts. Why? Because they itch.
You’ve seen what we eat, and Hello! I covered the hirsute cheek-horn last week. What do you think happens when all that hair is displaced by a brief gale? It gets out of position, and someone needs to make it right. It itches, and there’s this convenient scrap of cloth Right There!
So yeah, sorry about that. Certain drugs list “seepage” as a side effect; it turns out that two of those drugs are coffee and beer – which then makes the little brown rosebud itch. I would never suggest that prostate self-exams contribute to the issue, because we all know that real guys don’t do that. Um, much.
Now you know. Please, feel free to comment! Also, forward any questions you’d like answered to BUMD – at – biguglymandoll.com!