July 15th, 2011


ManFAQ Friday: Nice Wheels

Originally published at Big Ugly Man Doll. Please leave any comments there.

It’s Friday, and that means answer time! For those of you who have commented with questions from previous ManFAQs, thank you. I’m adding yours to the list of questions women have asked about men over the years, and I will answer them all in turn – to continue to demystify the more malodorous gender for those of the gentler. Actual questions, posed by real women, and answered by a REAL man. What could go wrong?

Question: What is it with the muscle cars?  Are you really compensating for something? 

Answer:   As much as I’d like to say, no, we’re not…  Yes, we are.  But it’s not what you think!

We’re compensating for not being able to wear swords and six-guns anymore, for the lack of that feeling of righteous power coursing through our veins when we heft the battle club and look our enemy in the eye.  We’re supplanting the sensation of superiority we used to claim by being muscle-bound manly men with the visceral vroom of an overloud engine.  Not me, mind you, I drive a, well, let’s not talk about that, but anyway I understand.

We’re compensating for a bygone time, when men were men, danger and honor were synonymous, and respect was still measured in who’s was longer.  Now, we’re settling for who’s is louder.

Besides, why do I keep seeing women, many of them 100 lbs or less, driving H3 Hummers or Jeeps that could crush my pimped-up Subaru Outback like a Matchbox toy?  What are they compensating for?

Could it be that cars that goes vroomvrooom all low and growly-like are just cool?  Maybe they are, maybe they are.  Maybe I’ll go buy one tomorrow.  I’ll let you know.


Now you know. Please, feel free to comment! Also, forward any questions you’d like answered to BUMD – at – biguglymandoll.com!