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December 11th, 2011

Advent of Holiday Horror: Song 15

Originally published at Big Ugly Man Doll. You can comment here or there.

I used to think that my parents let me out a lot, let me explore my own world on my own, let me discover and learn and scrape my own knees and learn my own lessons.

I know now that they protected me.  They made sure that there were things I never learned.  Things that might have hurt me.  Like the song about Dominick, The Italian Christmas Donkey. 

What is this fuckery?  I have never heard this in all my born days, and the song predates me by short whack of years.  What in the HELL?  Dominick the Donkey.  I’ll be buggered.  I mean, I thought Rudolph was goofy.  Now, it turns out Santa’s got hisself an ass.

This sounds (and in the video below, LOOKS) like Mario and Luigi from Super Mario Dance Revolution have gotten together for a Christmas song.  I’m still shaking my head here. 

Hey! Chingedy ching (hee-haw, hee-haw)
It’s Dominick the donkey.
Chingedy ching (hee-haw, hee-haw)
The Italian Christmas donkey.
When Santa visits his paisons / With Dominick he’ll be.
Because the reindeer cannot climb / the hills of Italy.

This countdown of miscellaneous holiday terror would be incomplete without Dominick.  It’s not so much nauseating as just stick-in-your-head irritating.  (Chingedy ching!)  After one listen, you’d rather hire Mario and Luigi to work on your plumbing than sit through this on the radio again.  Paisons?  Really, Santa?

A pair of shoes for Louie /And a dress for Josephine.
The labels on the inside says /They’re made in Brooklyn.

Yes, the words ‘Josephine’ and ‘Brooklyn’ rhyme.  And that is bad. 

Go on, give it a try!  After all, you know Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and Vixen – but do you know Dominick? 


Yep, looks like another post from the Big, Ugly Man Doll!