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March 29th, 2013

ManFAQ Friday: BVD TMI?

Originally published at Big Ugly Man Doll. You can comment here or there.

Friday is once again answer time at the ManFAQ, and we will dedicate today’s ManFAQ to the manliest of men, Richard Griffiths, who died yesterday.  As a pompous, manly, and strong head of household, he was second only to Archie Bunker in his role as Harry Potter’s Uncle Vernon Dursley.  And so, as an actor’s actor and a man’s man, today it is in the memory of Uncle Vernon that I don my manly mantle as Sage of the Sexes, helping demystify the more malodorous gender for those of the gentler, as we add to the list of questions women have asked about men over the years.  Actual questions, posed by real women, and answered by a REAL man.  As Uncle Vernon would have said, ”What could go wrong, boy?”


Question:  Do you really use the front flap of your tighty whities?   

Answer:  It depends.  There are those of us who never use the “frontal access device” to access our devices, simply because we tend to forget it’s there.  (The access, not the device.  We’re usually pretty aware of the device.)  Some of us do not like the sensation of thrusting the device through multiple layers of cloth – it’s turning left!  No, it’s turning right!  No, wait!  Imagine a double-gated bra and you’ll see what I mean.   Mind you, some of us will thrust that thing anywhere, and see this as less of a big deal.

Some of us tend to use the “frontal access device” when we need to be hands-free – sometimes, in this busy day and age, we’re otherwise occupied and need both hands to make sure we don’t drop the phone in the pool, if you know what I mean.  If I’ve got one hand holding down the shorts for Mr. Shorty to take his brief walk, and we can assume the other hand is against the wall holding myself up due to the near permanent state of exhaustion I’m in, then which hand is going to return your txt message or answer the phone when it rings?  Many’s the poor bastard who’s forgotten what he was doing and moved that hand away at the wrong time, causing the elastic to contract and firing the old hose straight up – no, sometimes it’s better to open those gates and let gravity do its work. 

Most guys also take this approach if there’s any chance you’ll walk in on them.  Usually, you’d be behind them, and this *might* give you the impression that they’re going commando today – which in turn might lead to thoughts of Hey Hey, since it’s already out of its cage…   You know where I’m going with this, right?  It never works, but we still think it. 

 


 

Now you know.  Please, feel free to comment!  Also, forward any questions you’d like answered to BUMD – at – biguglymandoll.com!  As always, your anonymity is guaranteed!

 

 

 

 



Yep, looks like another post from the Big, Ugly Man Doll!