biguglymandoll (biguglymandoll) wrote,

Stories from all over

Originally published at Big Ugly Man Doll. Please leave any comments there.

Just when you think you can’t find another use for your kids, I heard this from my friend a few days ago:

It’s always a challenge to live with a high-powered, high-functioning ADHD-type in your life, but sometimes these people can be useful to have around!

For example, I got pulled over, I assume for speeding, the other day. When the police officer came up to my car, I rolled down the window. Before either of us could say anything, the Very Noisy Six-Year-Old in the back started.

I use the term started because there’s no other way to describe what he does.

“Is that a real gun? Does it have real bullets? Have you killed people? Can I watch you shoot something? Are you really a policeman? Do you have a badge? Are you the same policeman who came to my school? Is that a real gun? Are you going to shoot my Daddy? Can I watch you shoot something? Do you have a badge?”

The poor cop is just standing there, mouth open, as he listens to the machine-gun questions coming at full volume from the back seat, peppering him with interogatives like a pillbox laying down cover fire in the battle of Verdun. I gave him my best “please shoot me” look.

“You can go. Uh, try to slow it down a little. But, um, you can just go.”

I was tempted at this point to say something like, “No, I think I want to see you shoot something first.”

The VN six-year-old got an ice cream cone, and he doesn’t even know why. I might tell him, when he’s older, and if I ever get a word in.

Tags: children
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