I’m highly offended. Last night, someone got into my car and took most of my change from the ashtray where I keep quarters. They left me 75 cents, I guess for parking meters. Mind you, 75 cents pays for about a minute and a half of parking around here, which probably corresponds to how long it took the bastard to rob my car, so it could be a subtle ironic jab. But they probably just missed it in the dark.
I’m offended, though, because this is the second time this has happened, and they haven’t taken my CDs from the glove box nor made any attempt at the radio. What, my music and equipment isn’t good enough for you? Car-thieving horse-rustlers don’t like Sting? Fuck you. Next time, you take it all or you just leave it alone. Just walk on by. I can’t even get a cuppa friggin coffee for 75 cents, you know that? Jerk.