Last night, as I was walking home from a visit with the lady of the local lake, I was set upon and taken hostage by a thunderous rush of irredentist geologists bent on the reunification of Gondwanaland. They told me of their master plan and swore me to utmost secrecy, so I can’t tell you how glad I was to escape. I told them I’d cede them Australia and Hawaii if they could prove that the morning’s first cup of coffee did indeed recapitulate phylogeny. Once they agreed to the test, I had to wait until they went through the starfish phase to make my escape. I was going to pull their limbs off, but, you know, what would be the point? As I ran away, I fell into a logical hole that had opened along a philosophical fault line and broke my stirrup bone. The pain was so intense that I couldn’t hear the thunderous rush of daybreak until late this morning, and now I need to see about getting it fixed so that I’ll hear such thunderous rushes in the future, or tomorrow, whichever comes first.</p>
Anyway, that’s why I can’t make it in to work today.