If this blog had any formal education, it would be in 4th Grade and almost as smart as Donald Trump.
Ten years ago I opened the Big Ugly Man Doll for business. I had no idea what I was doing, just that I was doing it. For the record, SOBUMD dragged me into the digital age kicking and screaming all the way. She did not simply encourage me to start blogging. She set up the initial account, over at LiveJournal, sat me in front of the screen, and said, “Type.”
This is all her fault, and I’ve never truly thanked her for it. Thank you, my love!
My First Post was as follows:
First Post! w00t! Somehow it’s less exciting when it’s my own journal. It’s like getting all worked up about being the first to write in the new diary, and then remembering that you live by yourself, in a tower, with only the howling wind to read your deathless prose. Not entirely unlike the sense of serenity and satisfaction you got from watching your digital wristwatch flip to the new year at midnight. (You knew that you could reset the time to watch it do that whenever you wanted, and that it was usually off by 2-3 minutes anyway, but it didn’t matter, did it? We were crazy then.)
So, welcome. You’re probably in the wrong place. I am the Big Ugly Man Doll. Stick around and I’ll tell you why.
We’ve come a long way in 10 years. Road trips. Pigs. The ManFAQ, still one of my favorite bits, to be honest. An entire year of weekly horoscopes – and wow, that was a beast! Do you realize there are 12 of the damn things? Every week? And I have met people I would never otherwise have met – wonderful friends, fellow bloggers, some of whom I’ve met in person, some of whom I’m simply looking forward to meeting in person some day. Amazing people and storytellers, sharing snippets of real life. There have been a few passes at the end of the world (which, yes, predicted the rise of the Donald back in 2011), and countless musings.
It’s tapered off recently, not because I’m any less irritated at the state of the world – quite the opposite, in fact! I simply find myself at the confluence of the rivers of Time, Inspiration, and Energy with decreasing frequency these days. It will get better. I’m sure I’ll grab the tail of that highly caffeinated tiger again, and you’ll all be forced once again to read my deathless prose over the roar of the howling wind in that tower.
I don’t think I ever mentioned this, but that bit in the last line, “You’re probably in the wrong place” – I stole that without shame or remorse from Steven Brust’s blog, the DreamCafe. He’s changed the tagline now, but it’s still a great blog (and he is a great writer).
So thank you all, Dear Friends, Fond Relations, and Gentle Readers, for staying with me for the ride. I shall remain BUMD, and I shall get back to writing more often. Real Soon Now. And for anyone who’s thinking, “oh no, thank you, BUMD” – trust me, thank SOBUMD. I wouldn’t be here without her!